There has been a lot of commotion in the UK because LLOYDS TSB has sent debit cards to thousands of children without informing the parents. Some of the children were only 11 years old. The cards permit the children to buy online without their parents knowledge. Lloyds defends that the cards protect the children from overdraw and adult or gambling sites. But a 15-year old boy already bought cigarettes, Viagra and a fake adult identification.
Source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/money/borrowing/article4241836.ece
Stephanie Mahieu
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There has been a lot of commotion in the UK[,] because LLOYDS TSB has sent debit cards to thousands of children without informing the parents. Some of the children were only 11 years old. The cards permit the children to buy online without their parents knowledge. Lloyds defends [itself, saying] that the cards protect the children from overdraw [overdrawing] and adult or gambling sites. But [, but] a [one] 15-year old boy [has] already bought cigarettes, Viagra and a fake adult identification.
The assignment was to write four sentences. You have written five. By changing the full stop before 'but' into a comma, you can have four instead of five sentences.
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